Notes - Big Leap

July 2, 2024

Chapter One: Preparing for Your Big Leap: The One Problem and How to Solve It

The Upper Limit Problem (ULP)

The central concept introduced is the Upper Limit Problem, which the author identifies as the only problem that truly holds people back and needs to be solved to achieve ultimate success. The ULP is defined as an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity a person allows themselves to enjoy. When an individual exceeds this artificial setting, they often unconsciously do something to sabotage themselves, causing them to drop back into a familiar, secure zone.

This "thermostat" is typically programmed in early childhood, often rooted in misguided altruism, such as a child pulling back from shining to protect the feelings of others, like a mother. The consequence of not addressing the ULP is that it will be a constant drag on a person's potential. The more successful someone becomes, the more urgent it is to identify and overcome their ULP.

The book's goal is to help individuals transcend this obstacle to claim their full potential and make quantum shifts in wealth, work, love, and creativity while maintaining a balance between these elements.

Self-Assessment and Willingness

The chapter presents four crucial questions for self-assessment, designed to gauge one's willingness to embrace greater well-being and success:

"Am I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside?". This refers to an organic, deep sense of inner well-being independent of external factors.
"Am I willing to increase the amount of time that my whole life goes well?". This encompasses work, relationships, and creative pursuits.
"Am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time?". The author asserts that clinging to beliefs of impossibility is arguing for limitations, which one then keeps. This willingness is presented as a genuinely radical act in the face of widespread belief that life is inherently difficult.
"Are you willing to take the Big Leap to your ultimate level of success in love, money, and creative contribution?".

Examples of the ULP in Action

Maynard Webb, former COO of eBay, serves as an example of someone who successfully took the Big Leap. Despite his significant accomplishments and fortune, he recognized he was operating in his Zone of Excellence rather than his Zone of Genius. He confronted his ULP by moving from his comfortable niche at eBay to a new startup, Live Ops, where he could fully express his genius and make a bigger impact.
In contrast, Dr. Richard Jordan exemplifies the ULP's sabotage. He lost a $3 million offer for his business due to an angry confrontation over a minor detail (two fewer weeks of vacation). Through introspection, he realized he unconsciously felt he was not "worth" that much money. He transformed this experience into a "Three-Million-Dollar Gift," using it to ask powerful questions like "How much love and abundance am I willing to allow?" and "How am I getting in my own way?".
Prominent examples of ULP in famous individuals include Bill Clinton, whose presidency was marred by a sex scandal; John Belushi, who self-destructed at the peak of his career; Boris Becker, who fired his successful coach after winning Wimbledon; and Christian Bale, who faced assault charges after a profitable movie opening. These instances highlight a tendency to create problems or conflicts immediately after significant achievements.
Bonnie Raitt provides a positive example of transcending the ULP. After years of struggling with addictions while a respected blues musician, she got sober and consciously decided to move from her "Excellent Blues Musician" trap to mainstream rock. She visualized Grammy success, and her album Nick of Time went on to sell millions, earning her nine Grammys and sold-out stadiums. Her journey illustrates the deep satisfaction of living in one's Zone of Genius.

Overcoming Resistance and the "Radical Idea"

The fear of owning one's full potential is a significant hurdle, as it eliminates excuses for not achieving goals. The ego may resist this commitment, creating a "smoke bomb of fear" with projections of financial ruin or other disasters. However, the author asserts that fear disappears when one is fully engaged in their Zone of Genius. The key to overcoming this fear is to transform it into exhilaration by "breathing fully with it," a concept summarized as "Fear is excitement without the breath".

A radical idea presented is that instead of waiting for more money, better relationships, or more creativity to feel good, one can find and nurture the capacity for positive feelings now. Consciously appreciating one's current money supply, love, and creative expression, even for a few seconds, expands one's capacity for enjoyment, which in turn expands financial abundance, love, and creativity.

The Four Zones of Activity

The book outlines four main zones in which human activities occur, providing a framework for understanding where one's energy is spent and how to move toward the Zone of Genius:

The Zone of Incompetence: Activities one is not good at, and others can do better. The best approach is to avoid or delegate these activities to free up energy.
- Example: A business consultant, Thomas, spent 13 hours (worth $13,000 of his consulting time) trying to install a $1,000 printer, a task for which he had no talent, only to have a college kid fix it in an hour for $100. This "expensive excursion" also led to an argument with his wife.
The Zone of Competence: Activities one is competent at, but others can perform just as well. Spending too much time here prevents people from expressing their full potential.
- Example: Joan, an executive, suffered from "diseases of unfulfillment" (chronic fatigue syndrome) because she was doing many organizational tasks outside her job description simply because she was competent at them, even though an executive assistant could do them. When she delegated these, her physical symptoms cleared, and she shifted focus to an environmental project aligned with her true interests.
The Zone of Excellence: Activities one does extremely well and earns a good living from. This zone is a "seductive and even dangerous trap" because it keeps people from taking the leap into their Zone of Genius. Family, friends, and organizations may encourage remaining here due to reliability. However, a deep part of oneself will "wither and die" if one stays here.
The Zone of Genius: The ultimate destination, where one's natural genius is liberated and expressed. This zone involves activities uniquely suited to an individual, drawing on their special gifts and strengths. The "Call to Genius" comprises inner promptings that, if ignored, can manifest as depression, illness, injuries, or relationship conflict.
- Example: Bill, a brilliant 43-year-old entrepreneur, died of a massive heart attack shortly after resisting the "Call to Genius" to pursue a new project, instead feeling pressured by company and family to stay in his current demanding role. The author uses this tragic example to emphasize the urgency of heeding this call. The goal is to spend upwards of 70 percent of one's time expressing true genius.

Chapter Two: Making the Leap: Dismantling the Foundation of the Problem

The ULP's Impact on Life and Relationships

The Upper Limit Problem causes individuals to create personal dramas that cloud their world with unhappiness and prevent them from enjoying enhanced success. This phenomenon "crosses the boundaries of money, love, and creativity". For instance, a financial surge can be followed by arguments or illness, and a thriving love relationship can coincide with financial setbacks. The pattern is to follow big leaps forward with big mess-ups, which "rubber-band you back to where you were before, or sometimes some place worse".

Common scenarios include:

A big financial surge is almost immediately followed by an argument or illness.
Feeling close to a love partner suddenly sparks an argument, causing intimacy to disappear.
Feeling happy and at ease alone is suddenly disrupted by a stream of negative thoughts.

Example: Lois and the Investment Disaster

Lois, a wealthy businesswoman in her mid-fifties, struggled with relationships, having been twice-divorced. After committing to attracting a healthy relationship, she met a wonderful man and had a romantic weekend, then canceled her sessions, believing she no longer needed help. Six months later, she urgently contacted the author because her new husband had given her bad investment advice that led to a $200,000 loss. Through coaching, Lois realized she had unconsciously created this drama because she felt she didn't deserve to be "this happy" and was looking for an excuse to end the relationship. She then made a new commitment to be "wealthy in both money and love". This illustrates how the ULP can surface even in deep, intimate relationships, causing self-sabotage when happiness levels exceed one's comfort zone.

The Four Hidden Barriers Triggering the ULP

The Upper Limit Problem is held in place by a foundation of four hidden barriers, based on fear and false beliefs. These beliefs are unconsciously taken as true but dissolve when illuminated by awareness, leading to "ultimate liberation". These fears and false beliefs lead to a "success-limiting mantra" such as "I cannot expand to my full potential because ____________________________________________".

Feeling Fundamentally Flawed: This is the most pervasive barrier, a deep, old feeling that something is inherently wrong, bad, or flawed about oneself. When one surpasses their Upper Limit, an inner voice whispers, "you should not be this happy... because you are fundamentally flawed". This creates cognitive dissonance, forcing a return to the old comfort zone or the release of the limiting belief. The author calls this an "Upper Limit bug" that "bites you when you are going to higher levels of love, abundance, and creativity".
- Example: Carl, whose father subconsciously projected hatred onto him due to his ex-wife, leading Carl to feel fundamentally flawed and undeserving, even though he was innocent of any "crime". This barrier also involves the fear that even one's genius might be flawed, leading to playing it safe and staying small.
Disloyalty and Abandonment: The unconscious mantra here is, "I cannot expand to my full success because it would cause me to end up all alone, be disloyal to my roots, and leave behind people from my past". This guilt makes individuals "put on the brakes" and self-punish after breakthroughs.
- Example: Robert and Dee, a newlywed couple from very different backgrounds, eloped against the wishes of Robert's "old money" family. Immediately after their spontaneous wedding, they got a severe poison oak rash from celebrating in the woods, along with hangovers from a celebratory party. The author identified this as a classic case of self-punishment for disloyalty. When they courageously called Robert's parents to inform them, the situation harmonized.
Believing That More Success Brings a Bigger Burden: This barrier manifests as the unconscious mantra, "I can’t expand to my highest potential because I’d be an even bigger burden than I am now".
- Example: The author himself experienced this, having been seen as a "burden" by his mother (whose husband died shortly after his conception) while being a "celebration" to his grandparents. Later, his mother and brother's indifference to his first published book reinforced his unconscious belief that his existence and creations were a "burden" to them. The author notes that most guilt felt for "crimes" is often for those not truly committed but projected by others.
The Crime of Outshining: The unconscious mantra for this barrier is, "I must not expand to my full success, because if I did I would outshine _________________ and make him or her look or feel bad". This is common among gifted children who may dim their brilliance or feign suffering to avoid threatening others or to gain sympathy.
- Example: Both Kenny Loggins and Jim Messina battled this barrier, originating from trying to compete with favored siblings in childhood. Kenny Loggins's self-sabotage after success (getting sick, accidents, relationship mess-ups) was a clear ULP. A performance disaster where his microphone failed at the Grammys prompted him to realize he needed to shift from his "Zone of Excellence" (pop hits) to his "Zone of Genius" (new, meaningful music like his Leap of Faith album), ultimately leading to even greater success.
- Another example is Joseph, a piano prodigy who quit music due to crippling guilt. He realized this guilt stemmed from his parents telling him his grand piano could only be afforded because his sister had died, making him unconsciously feel guilty for "outshining" her by being alive.

The chapter concludes by highlighting that understanding these root structures is the background knowledge needed for the Big Leap.

Chapter Three: Getting Specific: How to Spot the Upper Limit Problem in Daily Life

Spotting ULP Behaviors

This chapter focuses on the practical application of recognizing the Upper Limit Problem (ULP) in daily life, suggesting a "benign vigilance" – a keen but relaxed attention to one's own actions. This is presented as a "lifelong pursuit" for navigating the Zone of Genius. The phrase "Upper-Limiting myself" describes the act of crimping one's flow of positive energy.

Typical Ways We Upper-Limit Ourselves:

Worry: Often a sign of ULP rather than useful thought. Unnecessary worry concerns things one has no control over. It involves busily manufacturing scenarios of things "falling apart". Most worry-thoughts are not reality-based unless they concern a real possibility that one can immediately act upon. Worry is presented as an addiction, a handy way to feel bad and dampen positive moods.
- Example: A billionaire client who constantly worried about losing money, despite his vast wealth, would criticize his wife over the cost of toilet paper. The author helped him realize this wasn't about money but an ULP symptom rooted in his belief that he didn't deserve to be both wealthy and loved, mirroring his parents' constant bickering over money. He committed to ending criticism, and his relationship transformed.
- Transforming Worry: The author provides a 7-step tool: 1) Notice worry; 2) Let go of worry-thoughts; 3) Wonder what positive new thing is trying to emerge; 4) Feel a body sensation related to this positive emergence; 5) Feel it deeply; 6) Savor it; 7) Later, an idea of the positive thing emerges. An example is given where the author's worry about money for his niece's music school transformed into an awareness of his love and appreciation for his wife, recognizing the worry as an ULP signaling a need to expand his capacity for joy in abundance.
Criticism and Blame: Like worry, these are often not about the object of criticism but are ULP mechanisms to retard the flow of positive energy. They are described as addictive and the "number-one destroyer of intimacy" in close relationships. Both self-criticism and criticizing others are part of the same ULP pattern. Criticism is only useful if it's specific and produces a positive result.
- Example: John, a top executive, would explode in anger and criticism after receiving good news or feeling an urge to compliment someone. This was an ULP behavior because he unconsciously reproduced his father's pattern of giving compliments mixed with criticism, leading him to fear giving compliments himself. When he understood this, he committed to ending the pattern, and his candid admission to his executives created a powerful moment of genuine connection.
Deflecting: This involves avoiding positive energy by brushing off compliments or appreciation. It keeps individuals "safely in our Zone of Competence or Zone of Excellence" and prevents them from expanding their capacity for positive energy.
- Example: Two avid golfers constantly deflected compliments on their good shots, saying things like "Nah, I didn’t make full contact" or "Even a blind squirrel gets an acorn now and then". The recommended response is to pause, register the positive energy, and then graciously thank the person. The art is to create inner space to feel and appreciate natural good feelings, thereby expanding tolerance for things going well.
Squabbling: Arguments are one of the most common ways to bring oneself down when hitting the Upper Limit. They quickly crimp the flow of positive energy and can last for extended periods, pushing individuals back into the Zone of Competence or Excellence.
- Physics of Arguments: Arguments are caused by each person (or country) racing to occupy the victim position, demanding the other take blame. The "key insight" to resolving conflicts permanently is understanding that each entity in a conflict has 100 percent of the responsibility for resolving it. This means there is 200% responsibility to be shared, not 100% to be divided, which avoids endless jockeying for victimhood. If both sides claim 100% responsibility, resolution becomes possible.
Getting Sick, Getting Hurt: Some people have a pattern of getting sick or hurt when things are going well, as a pure ULP symptom. These often occur during or after significant personal or professional wins.
- The Three Ps: These are the underlying "driving forces" behind many illnesses and accidents:
  1. Punishment: Self-punishment for feeling too much ecstasy or engaging in behaviors perceived as "wrong". Example: Ryan, a stockbroker, suffered severe migraines after lunchtime trysts, an unconscious self-punishment for his affair. The migraines stopped when he confronted his behavior and initiated painful but honest conversations with his wife. Symptoms are "warning signs" that something is "out of integrity".
  2. Prevention and Protection: The unconscious mind's "clunky way of doing you a favor" by creating illness or accident to prevent unwanted actions or protect from unwanted feelings. Example: Dr. Smith, a university professor, developed laryngitis on the day he was due to give a presentation he secretly dreaded, as he was leaving for a new job. This prevented him from having to lie or fake enthusiasm, protecting him from embarrassment. His voice returned as soon as he understood the underlying message.
Integrity Breach: One of the quickest ways to bring oneself down after exceeding the ULP. This includes lies, broken agreements, and withheld truths. Integrity is framed as a physics issue (wholeness and completeness), rather than solely a moral one, where a breach stops the flow of energy.
- Example: Bill Clinton's lie about sexual relations is presented as a ULP symptom. His behavior, driven by a need to test limits, created a "physics issue" where the lie (a "pebble in the garden hose") impeded the flow of positive energy and ultimately led to his impeachment.
- Example: Sarah and Jonah, leaders of a family business, experienced arguments after their best quarterly earnings report, confirming an ULP. Sarah's accusations of flirtation against Jonah were a projection of her own hidden sexual attraction to someone else and her despair over the lack of emotional intimacy in her marriage. When they revealed these deeper, hidden feelings, their conflict dissolved, and they began communicating as allies.

Discovering Your Story and Cultivating the Right Attitude

Integrity breaches occur when we separate from our wholeness. Asking questions about where one feels out of integrity, what's keeping one from feeling whole, or what important feelings are being hidden can help uncover these breaches. Most people have a "limiting story" about why they cannot access their genius, often passed down through generations (e.g., genius leads to irresponsibility, madness, or poverty). The task is to identify this family story and then lose fascination with it, replacing it with a new fascination for the "Big Leap into the Zone of Genius".

The chapter emphasizes the importance of an attitude of wonder and play rather than blame or criticism when exploring one's ULP behaviors. Using phrases like "ULP" (pronounced "Gulp!") can foster this playful perspective. Albert Einstein's spirit of play in seeking truth is offered as an inspiration.

Action Steps

The daily action steps recommended include:

Committing to an attitude of wonder and play while learning about ULP behaviors.
Making a list of personal ULP behaviors (worrying, blame/criticism, getting sick/hurt, squabbling, hiding feelings, not keeping agreements, not speaking significant truths, deflecting).
When noticing ULP behaviors, shifting attention to expanding capacity for abundance, love, and success.
Consciously making more room for positive experiences, utilizing body feelings.
Embracing a new story that reflects one's adventures and thriving in the Zone of Genius.

Chapter Four: Building a New Home in Your Zone of Genius: How to Make Every Moment an Expression of Your Genius

The Big Leap and Resistance to Genius

This chapter focuses on discovering and expressing one's unique genius, asking: "What is my genius?" and "How can I bring forth my genius in ways that serve others and myself at the same time?". The author states that discovering one's Zone of Genius is the Big Leap, distinguishing it from mere "hops". Confining oneself to "hops" (like staying in the Zone of Excellence) is "hazardous to your health" and can lead to "rusting from the inside out". The author shares his personal experience of feeling "comfortably numb" and "sluggish" despite his success, realizing he had worn a comfortable rut in his Zone of Excellence and overlooked his beckoning Zone of Genius.

A significant challenge is the resistance from those around us (family, friends, organizations) who prefer us to stay in our Zone of Excellence due to our reliability there. This resistance often manifests as complaints, masking a deeper fear. The author recounts a reunion with Stanford PhDs where most complained about career limitations, expressing a "longing" for what they truly wanted to do but felt unobtainable due to external factors like bureaucracy, insurance companies, or money.

Underneath every complaint is a huge fear: "If I took the Big Leap into my Zone of Genius, I might fail. What if I really opened up to my true genius and found that my genius wasn’t good enough?". The safety of the Zone of Excellence allows avoidance of the risk of big rejection or the "ugly possibility" of not having a Zone of Genius. The advice given is to simply notice these fears and voices, acknowledge them, and then get busy living in the Zone of Genius, rather than trying to eliminate them.

The Genius Commitment

A crucial step is to make a sincere commitment to living in your Zone of Genius. This commitment must precede knowing "how to make good on it," much like Indiana Jones stepping into thin air before a bridge magically appears. The power of this commitment "brings forth the means necessary" for living in this zone, promising "uncommon good fortune". The recommended commitment is: "I commit to living in my Zone of Genius, now and forever.". Living in the Zone of Genius is described as an "exhilaration," a "constant sense of purposeful joy" where "work doesn’t feel like work" and "time seems to expand".

The Genius Questions

To discover and understand one's genius, the author presents four "Genius Questions" to "wonder about" with an "open mind and an open heart":

"What do I most love to do? (I love it so much I can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored.)". This question helps distinguish one's genius from mere excellence.
- Example: The author's personal genius is "translating big, important, life-changing concepts into simple, practical things people can use" and "dreaming up, or downloading directly from the source, those same kinds of useful, life-changing tools".
- Example: Rhonda and Cynthia, corporate consultants, realized they had omitted the "spirit of play" (what they loved most) from their professional materials in an attempt to be more "corporate," which created an "integrity glitch" and hindered their business. When they re-infused play into their work, their business improved.
"What work do I do that doesn’t seem like work? (I can do it all day long without ever feeling tired or bored.)". This identifies the core activity that makes one happiest in their work.
- Example: Bob, a new CEO, realized his favorite activity was informally "wandering around, talking to other executives" for brief periods, which he had stopped doing after his promotion. Resuming this practice brought him peace and improved his sleep. The "mounting pressure" many successful people feel is actually a call to live in their Zone of Genius.
"In my work, what produces the highest ratio of abundance and satisfaction to amount of time spent? (Even if I do only ten seconds or a few minutes of it, an idea or a deeper connection may spring forth that leads to huge value.)".
- Example: The author found that "the free play of ideas in my mind" yielded enormous value, sometimes millions in revenue, or took years to incubate. He prioritizes this by spending at least an hour daily on meditation and free mind play before any "official" work.
- Example: Nancy, a mystery novelist, struggled to prioritize her writing, often doing housework first. The author helped her realize this was due to ULP (fear of neglecting family, fear of big rejection, fear of outshining siblings). He assigned her to write before doing housework, breaking the pattern, which slowly shifted her priorities and improved her creative output.
"What is my unique ability? (There’s a special skill I’m gifted with. This unique ability, fully realized and put to work, can provide enormous benefits to me and any organization I serve.)". This skill is often unique within one's circle or work setting and can be visualized as a "skill within a skill within a skill," camouflaged within larger abilities. It often appears early in life to cope with stress and optimize thriving.
- Example: The author's unique ability is to "be with people in a certain way that enables them to come up with creative solutions they hadn’t thought of before," by creating a space for new ideas to emerge. He illustrates this by helping two Fortune 500 executives resolve a conflict not by addressing the surface issue (building a new factory) but by creating space for the deeper, emotional truth to emerge (the CEO's fear of losing control and the original feel of the company), leading to an innovative solution.
- Example: The author's granddaughters defined unique abilities as "superpowers," such as sensing others' feelings, knowing when people are angry but hiding it, or discerning___________________________". Finally, "When I’m doing that, the thing I love most about it is ____________________________________". This process evokes an "inner glow of wonder and excitement" when one gets closer to their unique ability. Anne, a CEO, discovered her unique ability was feeling subtle energy shifts in a room, which helped her know when to gracefully cut off discussions in meetings.

Chapter Five: Living in Your Zone of Genius

This chapter focuses on learning to live in the Zone of Genius once you have broken free of the Upper Limit Problem. It describes this transition as a delicate tightrope walk that becomes easier with practice.

Out of the Box and Onto the Spiral

The concept of "getting out of the box and onto the spiral" is introduced as a guiding principle. The Zone of Genius is depicted as a continuous upward spiral, where you expand your capacity for love, abundance, and success daily, with no upper limit. In contrast, lower zones like the Zone of Excellence are seen as "boxes" where you can function well and achieve results, but ultimately feel stymied and unsatisfied because you are doing the same things over and over without stretching yourself or feeding your true self. The goal is to exit these boxes to experience the "sweet freedom" of living on this continuous upward spiral.

The Ultimate Success Mantra: A Central Guiding Intention

Navigating this upward spiral requires a new set of skills, and the first shortcut is to organize your inner operating system around a Central Guiding Intention, called the Ultimate Success Mantra (USM). This metaprogram is meant to be installed at the root of your being, alongside other essential ones like relating to gravity or eating when hungry, to help you live "easefully" in your Zone of Genius.

A mantra is defined as a sound or idea used as a focal point in meditation, helping to return attention to the present moment when the mind wanders. The art of meditation involves letting go of "wander-thoughts" and returning to the mantra without self-criticism.

The Ultimate Success Mantra (USM) is: "I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.". This comprehensive intention is designed to inform all your actions and decisions, gradually conforming your life to its purpose. It directly counters the Upper Limit Problem's conditioning, which instructs contraction or self-limitation, acting as an "antidote to years of conditioning" that you don't deserve full success.

How to Use the Ultimate Success Mantra

The USM can be used in two ways:

Formally, as a meditation practice:
- Sit quietly for 5 to 10 minutes.
- Close your eyes and rest for about a minute.
- Whisper the USM softly to yourself every 15 to 20 seconds (this takes about 5 to 7 seconds).
- Pause and rest with an open mind for 10 to 15 seconds (about two slow, easy breaths).
- Continue this pattern for 5 to 10 minutes.
- Conclude by pausing and resting for 1 or 2 minutes before returning to normal activities. The 10-15 seconds of pause are crucial for your mind to digest this powerful new idea and for "back-talk" from old programming to surface. Back-talk is the mind chatter that argues with the USM, such as "Forget it. You'll never inspire anybody to do anything worthwhile". The author encourages welcoming this back-talk, as it signifies the USM is working and will eventually stop as the mantra permeates your consciousness.
Informally, as an addition to daily life:
- Occasionally float the USM through your mind or speak it aloud.
- Write it on cards or sticky notes and place them in visible areas, like a car dashboard or desk, to serve as reminders throughout the day.

A Key Shortcut: The Enlightened No

This shortcut involves saying "no" to things that do not fit into your Zone of Genius. It's called "Enlightened No" because the refusal is not based on typical reasons like money or dislike, but on a conscious choice to focus on activities aligned with your genius. This type of "no" can even inspire those you are turning down. The author provides an example of declining a $50,000 endorsement opportunity for electronic devices because it did not align with his Zone of Genius. This refusal inspired the company's head, leading to an invitation for the author to consult on how their team could find their own Zones of Genius. Each "Enlightened No" strengthens your commitment to living in your Zone of Genius.

Another Shortcut: Renewing and Refining Commitment

Commitment acts as a springboard into your Zone of Genius, propelling you forward. Once in the zone, recommitment becomes a steering and calibration device to keep you centered. The author emphasizes that "the art of commitment should really be called the art of recommitment," as moments of low energy or deeply buried beliefs (like being "fundamentally unlovable") are inevitable on a worthy quest. These beliefs are described as "boulders" in the living room of your Zone of Genius, often fueled by the ego trying to maintain its job. In the Zone of Genius, the ego is unnecessary, as you are a "free agent" without need for approval or control. When encountering these challenges, taking a deep breath and renewing your commitment to living full-time in your Zone of Genius is crucial. The author daily revisits his commitments and the USM. Living in the Zone of Genius is described as "deliciously easy" and exhilarating, but it requires "exquisite attention". When you lose focus, simply recommit to expressing your genius. Two motivations for this close attention are the exhilaration of expansion and the serenity derived from inspiring others to live in their own Zone of Genius, which is a "sensual delight".

Chapter Six: Living in Einstein Time

This chapter asserts that a harmonious relationship with time is essential for a harmonious life. It explains that understanding how time operates leads to graceful work flow and high performance, freeing up time for creative thinking.

You're Where Time Comes From

The core, profoundly simple truth of Einstein Time is: "You're where time comes from.". Embracing this truth can lead to a quantum jump in productivity and free time, feeling like magic but based on science. The author recounts his own discovery twenty years prior, where he realized his stress and frustration stemmed from an "outmoded, Newtonian paradigm" of time. This flash of insight, where his "cells seemed to rearrange themselves around the new understanding," led to him getting everything done in half the time without feeling rushed, despite a busier life.

An example is given of a Manhattan stockbroker who, feeling panicked on a crowded subway, recalled the Einstein Time concept – "I am time, and I'll make enough of it so I won't be late for my meeting." He relaxed, focused on the moment, and arrived at his meeting before anyone else, despite expecting to be late.

Einstein Time is a new kind of time management that reorganizes your conception of time at its core. It yields four main benefits:

You get more done in less time.
You enjoy plenty of time and abundant energy for your most important creative activities.
You discover your unique abilities and how to express them.
You feel good inside.

The Problem (Newtonian Time Trap)

The Newtonian paradigm assumes a finite amount of time that must be carefully portioned out, leading to a feeling of scarcity and time urgency. This often results in having "too little" or "too much" time, feeling rushed or bored. This paradigm creates a "dualistic split" where time is perceived as an external physical entity pressuring us, making us feel like time's slave or victim. This view is "dangerous to our health, disastrous for our business, and ruinous to our relationships". The traditional time-management systems, while noble in intent, often consume more time than they save and leave people feeling guilty for not using them effectively.

Our Time Problem: A Space Problem

The shift to Einstein Time involves changing how much space we are willing to occupy. By expanding our awareness into space, we gain the ability to generate more time. The analogy given is Einstein's explanation of relativity: an hour with a beloved feels like a minute (awareness expands into space, time disappears), while a minute on a hot stove feels like an hour (awareness contracts away from pain, time congeals).

A practical example illustrates this: if you ignore a tight feeling in your belly (not occupying that internal space with awareness), you sentence yourself to a day-long battle with time. The author describes a friend whose worry over his daughter's visit caused his belly to clench, making time pass slowly and his creative energy disappear. Once his daughter shared her true dilemma and desires, time seemed to fly, and he quickly finished his work.

The Truth About Time and All the Things You Really Don't Want to Do

The author states that just as you'll never have enough money for things you don't need, you'll never have enough time for things you don't want to do. This scarcity mindset is exploited by advertising and is overcome on Einstein Time, which involves taking full ownership of time.

"Pardon Me, May I Borrow Your Persona for a Moment?"

A "persona" is a pattern of actions and feelings, like a mask, adopted in response to life conditions. Most people don't realize their persona is a choice and think it's their true self. Part of growing up is discarding personas that don't contribute to happiness and success, rechanneling that energy. The author shares his own experience of rechanneling his "Rebel persona" from seeking attention through misbehavior to creative energy.

Time personas, like the "Time Cop" (always on time, frustrated by lateness) and the "Time Slacker" (always late, gets hassled), are adopted and ingrained. The author admits to being a "Time Cop" and describes a clash with a "Time Slacker" employee who was consistently late, leading to her dismissal as a "clash of the time personas".

Einstein Time (Detailed Application)

In Einstein Time, you take charge and realize you are the source of time, thus able to create as much as needed. This heals the "dualistic split" with time, ending the "us-versus-them" dynamic.

The key to generating an abundance of time is to ask yourself: "Where in my life am I not taking full ownership?". Other variations include: "What am I trying to disown?" or "What aspect of my life do I need to take full ownership of?". The underlying principle is that stress and conflict arise from resisting acceptance and ownership. When you accept and claim ownership, stress disappears, and miracles can happen. An example given is a child's drug problem: stress persists as long as ownership is denied or transferred, but resolution begins when ownership is claimed, ideally by both parties.

How to Begin

To begin, you must get in harmony with the reality that you are the source of time and act as if it's true. A radical first step is complete abstinence from complaining about time. This courageous move shifts you out of the victim position. The author notes how many common phrases ("I'm in a hurry," "Where did the time go?") portray the speaker as a victim of time, perpetuating the myth of its scarcity. Stopping these complaints frees up energy for an inner transformation.

Specifically, the phrase "I don't have time to do that right now" is identified as a lie because you are the source of time, and it actually means "I don't want to do that right now". The author suggests it's more polite to state your true intention, such as "I want to finish what I'm working on before I play catch," rather than blaming time.

The Sensation of Time Pressure

The chapter encourages noticing the physical sensation of time pressure, comparing it to hunger. The author describes "being in a hurry" as pressure between his spine and heart, with neck tension and a forward head push, while "boredom" feels like a "deadened, shadowy darkness" in his chest. He realizes his preference for being in a hurry stems from the feeling of creative ferment—having interesting things to discover, asking big questions, and waiting for answers. He recounts his failed retirement at fifty, realizing boredom came from not creating, reaffirming his nature is saturated with an urge to create multiple things at once.

Clients who adopted the "no complaints about time" diet reported getting more done with less fatigue and having leisurely conversations. The shift is described as changing from "using my elbows to drive a car to realizing I could use my hands".

The author concludes by emphasizing that while the insight of being the source of time is quick, integrating it requires consistent practice and keen attention to spot and eliminate time complaints, leading to becoming steadily less busy while accomplishing more.

Chapter Seven: Solving the Relationship Problem

This chapter asserts that handling more positive energy, success, and love is an essential life skill, as failure to do so causes suffering, especially in relationships. It highlights that the greater your success, the bumpier your relationships tend to be.

Dismal Relationships Among Successful People

A study by John Cuber and Peggy Harroff found that 80 percent of successful people had unsatisfying marriages and long-term relationships, with only 20 percent having "vital" unions. The 80% fell into three unsatisfying styles:

Devitalized relationships: Partners stayed together but had lost passion, "going through the motions" for years or decades, appearing fine externally but lacking inner connection.
Passive-congenial relationships: Partners were never passionate, their bond being more like an affectionate friendship or business partnership with low expectations, leading to little conflict but "ho-hum harmony".
Conflict-habituated relationships: Partners created a lifestyle based on constant conflict, from low-level bickering to heated arguments, thriving on the "adrenaline-infused state of ongoing arousal" it provided.

The author, initially despairing at these findings, gained hope after twenty years of experience, realizing that many successful people can transform their relationships by understanding and transcending the Upper Limit Problem (ULP).

Reasons for Dismal Relationships and Solutions

Two main reasons successful people have dismal relationships are their very success (which intensifies the ULP for both partners) and not understanding how the ULP works. The ULP is often driven by a false belief of being "fundamentally flawed," causing individuals to self-sabotage their success, including in relationships.

The chapter highlights projection as a major habit that drains energy and intimacy. Projection is attributing to others what is true for you internally (e.g., a man calling his wife "passive" might be projecting his own inability to handle a powerful woman; a woman feeling "dominated" might be projecting her own unacknowledged desire to take up more space). Projection fuels power struggles, which are "a war between two people to see whose version of reality will win out". Healthy relationships, however, exist only between equals, where both take 100 percent responsibility. By dropping projection and owning their reality, partners can save energy and co-create more than they could alone.

Adjusting the "thermostat upward" to handle more love and positive energy in relationships involves noticing how you limit positive energy. Common limiting behaviors include:

Bringing yourself down with food or drink.
Deflecting compliments.
Thinking of something else while making love.
Getting sick when an opportunity for intimacy arises.
Withholding significant communications instead of reaching out.
Needing to control or dominate, or needing to be controlled/dominated (e.g., needing to always be right, which leaves no room for happiness).

In successful couples, these self-sabotage tendencies can be synergized. Mutual commitment to transcend Upper Limits and live in the Zone of Genius is key to an easier journey. The author emphasizes that healthy relationships are a "new task in evolution," as human relationships historically focused on survival. Opening to more love flushes out old programming, resetting the "energy thermostat" higher, which can trigger alarms and cause intimacy to feel overwhelming.

Suggestions for Successful People in Close Relationships:

Take plenty of time for yourself, in a space apart from your partner. This nurtures the independent self, recognizing the twin human drives of merging and autonomy. Conscious time off prevents unconscious "intimacy-destroying moves" like arguments, allowing for longer periods of closeness when reunited.
Put a priority on speaking the microscopic truth, especially about your emotions. Communicating simple truths like "I'm sad," "I'm scared," or "I feel angry," along with dreams and desires, creates deep intimacy, addressing a common lack of training in emotional communication.
When emotions are present, don't try to talk yourself or your partner out of them. Phrases like "Please don't cry" stifle feelings. Feelings are meant to be felt, and allowing complete emotional cycles prevents problems caused by stifling and concealing them.
Give yourself and your partner plenty of nonsexual touch. This communicates love and caring beyond words.
After experiencing intense intimacy, ground yourself in a positive way. Instead of creating an argument or accident unconsciously, choose constructive methods like dancing, walking, or cleaning to return to earth.
Cultivate at least three friends to form a "No-Upper-Limits conspiracy". This "conspiracy" (meaning "to breathe together") involves educating each other on the ULP, spotting Upper Limit behaviors (worrying, getting sick, accidents) in each other, and gently reminding each other that life's quality is created from beliefs. These co-conspirators offer support to recommit to expanding love, abundance, and success when focus is lost.

The author describes this relationship journey as the "ultimate thrill ride," packed with learning and joy. He emphasizes that everyone is an "amateur" in love, which keeps life exhilarating. Maintaining an attitude of "cheerful humility" is crucial to avoid "humiliating collisions with the universe," which teaches lessons with either a "feather" or a "sledgehammer" depending on one's openness to learning. Ultimately, relationships are presented as the "ultimate spiritual path," constantly challenging us to love and embrace even when prone to shun and reject, revealing true spirituality through interaction with a partner. The chapter closes with a poem by Hafiz, inviting one to meet the Divine "ready to dance" or be carried on a "stretcher to the Divine Emergency Room".